As part of my End of Life Doula training with Living Well Dying Well we discussed principles of working with others during their journey to death. Seven years later I realise how strong a role these principles have played in defining my approach to this work and so I share them here – in my own words – to give you some of the context for how I work.
Being there Every person’s journey is different and it is so important to keep that in mind. This is not the kind of work where I can walk into the room with a set formula for how to proceed. It starts with listening and learning about the individual, then accompanying them on their path – whatever their belief system is, whatever their hopes and fears, whatever their demeanor. I support their personal experience and, where necessary, will support them as an intermediary with family or other professionals.
Information I don’t approach a death as someone who “knows”. This is a new experience for the dying person, their loved ones, and for me. A beginner’s mind is necessary. However I am also aware that I may hold information and experience that is useful to them. I will share this information as clearly and objectively as I can
Simplicity There can be many forces at play making death complex and I choose to stand for simplifying processes wherever possible. It can often be the simple, small things that make someone feel a little better. Listening to both the dying person and those around them I can strive to understand needs and respond.
Expertise Experience of the dying process is a fundamental reason for me being there. I can offer that, along with the training and reading and learning of seven years on this path. The important self-reflection that is part of the doula training and practice underpins this and I am able to draw on the joint wisdom and knowledge of my community – the Association of End of Life Doulas – and my mentor.
Relationship Building relationships with all those involved is an important part of the process of supporting End of Life. Recognising that people may behave differently as they go through anticipatory grief approaching the death and then have adjust to their new reality of bereavement. There is no right or wrong way to do any of this – every journey is different and every person’s feelings and reactions are valid. I aim to support people in their authentic feelings while also acknowledging the impact they may have on those around them with the intention of fostering healthy relationships and good endings.
Do you find yourself at odds with family and old friends in your attitudes to death? Or maybe the thought terrifies you and you are ready to understand why and shift that feeling. Maybe you are currently grieving and confused by the process.
If you are interested in joining me for the next planned Sacred Death course (April 2025) then do please get in touch (freespiritdying@gmail.com) or complete the registration form.
This course is designed for anyone who has a personal or professional interest in understanding death and how we live with it. Maybe you have a diagnosis yourself, or know someone who has. Or you are dealing with the death of a loved one.
Here are some comments from previous participants on this training:
“Catherine creates a space where we can explore and discover on an individual and group level. It’s wonderful to opportunity to have conversations and share perspectives around topics that are often not spoken about. Catherine is a magnificent guide, sharing from her experiences and leading the group with her calm and charismatic presence. I recommend this experience to anybody who is resonating with it at a given time in their lives. ” Karin
“I recommend everyone to learn how to deal with death. Interestingly enough, in every session the course taught me a lot about life.” Sanne
“This course make me at peace with death” Cuaca
“I loved every minute” Katherine
During our time together we will discuss aspects of death and how we can support ourselves and others experiencing this important event.
What you can expect to gain from the course
Greater connection with the topic of death and dying
A safe space to share your feelings about past and future deaths
Tools to help you support others who are dying
An appreciation of the gifts of death – yes, they exist
A broader perspective – awareness of the many different ways death is treated around the world
Greater peace and less fear of death and dying
This courses take place in person with a small group in Ubud, Bali or Sydney, Australia. It is strongly recommended that you commit to attend all six sessions as this is a learning journey that we will take together.
SACRED DEATH COURSE
What we will cover
Introduction – our own views and experiences, of death and grief. Selfcare and the art of Compassionate Presence.
Our own death – coming to terms with it, designing a meaningful death that meets our needs, creating an Advanced Plan
Death and Society – different cultural approaches and taboos around death and grief. Comparison of Western approach with Balinese views. Controversial deaths.
Death and family dynamics – death stories, a person-centred approach, holding space. Secrets, lies, scandals and heartache
Working with death – physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of death and caring for the dying
Preparing for dying, being with dying, after the death
Psychopomp and other shamanic practices around death
Integration and Application
COURSE FORMAT
Sessions are each of three hours in a small group using a combination of talking circles, pair work, practical exercises and sharing information. There will be a reading list provided during the course with around 30 mins of research or reflection work to complete between classes. We also draw on my book Sacred Death (see below)
It is important to commit to attending the whole course as it is designed as a journey.
2025 dates:
Catherine Shovlin will be delivering the in-person 6 session course in the following times and places in 2025
Bali: Apr 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 10.
London: Jul 22, 23, 24, 29, 30, 31
Sydney: Nov 4, 5, 6, 11, 12, 13
Register here to reserve your spot or contact Catherine at freespiritdying@gmail.com if you have further questions.
Note that I am in the process of developing an online video recorded version of this course. It will be a different experience as you will not have the richness of shared experience with fellow travelers, but it does give everyone the flexibility to do the course whenever works for them. When that is available I will post info here.
WHO IS ELIGIBLE FOR SACRED DEATH TRAINING?
There is no specialist experience needed. Much more important is your attitude to the topic, your own relationship with death and your ability to work well within the group and follow the shared agreement we will draw up together around safe space, confidentiality etc. I reserve the right to suggest further personal development is needed before joining the course.
THE COST
For scheduled courses, the cost per participant is
Early bird (60+ days before)
Regular
Balinese or KITAS
Bali (April 2025)
IDR4,000,000
IDR6,000,000
IDR3,000,000
London (Jul 2025)
£399
£599
n/a
Sydney (Nov 2025)
A$799
A$1199
n/a
If you would like to create a bespoke course for your group then that can also be arranged. Contact me on windsofdiscovery@gmail.com to discuss
Two scholarship places are available on each Balinese course to local individuals showing special aptitude and interest but without the means to pay. Please email me at freespiritdying@gmail.com if you wish to be considered.
If you can’t make the training, but are keen to understand some of the principles I work with, then reading my book is another option. Available on amazon, kindle and other online bookstores. https://books2read.com/ShovlinDeath
I am not just a news story I am more than a statistic The essence of my death is so much more and so much less than the media could ever convey
I am not an unknown person Not to my mother, my brother, my nieces and nephews Who giggle as they pull on the many pockets of my uniform “See you soon, Uncle Jimmy” they shout
Their innocence breaks my heart
They do not know of the complexity between the person who killed me and me the victim
Or the person I killed And he the victim That connection in the moment of death Mine or his It goes so deep So far
This is not a life or a death of an unknown person. I am known He is known It is not to be taken lightly
This is not a fight to the death to then discard as unknown
I am more than a statistic
And I am not separate to you It is you that killed me And it is you that I killed in this infernal dance
Until unless we choose to stop To sit with my truth And with your truth and choose to stop
This poem was channeled for the Peace Pavilion at the Bali Spirit Festival 2024
Free Spirit 